Wife of Abdus Samad Bhat

When Sara passed away, we buried her in our family's graveyard in the foothills of the "Suleman Teng" or "Shankaracharya Hill" in Srinagar, Kashmir. We marked the grave with white marble. At the head, below the bismillah, the caligraphy reads "Wafaate Ahleya Abdus Samad Bhat"; It marks the death of the "Wife of Abdus Samad Bhat". She was my grandmother, had been a proud and loving wife to the wonderful Abdus Samad Bhat, and her name was Sara.

Quite likely the omission of her given name was a manifestation of what-was-done and what-was-proper in the collective psyche. When i looked at it this September the marking struck me as a symbol of our, for want of a better word, male chauvinism.

This "our" identity seems to be defined by our nationality and culture and religion and history and the list can be longer. The "we" it constitutes puts women on a pedestal that seeks to grant respect but comes with a denial and suppression of feminine individuality. Apparently, it did not want to acknowledge Sara directly.

Kashur Islam

Islam may be on the tongues of kashmiris, it is not in their hearts,
it may be associated to the kashmiris, it is not characteristic to them,
it may be in their names, but not in their lives,
it may be on their streets, but not in their homes,
it may be on their faces, but not in their limbs,
it may be on their outsides, but not their insides,
it may be in their past, but not the present,
it may be in their books, but not their deeds,

they may die for it, but not live it...